i didn't vote for obama

there i said it.

in 2008, i lived in chicago and i didn’t manage to get to the polls to help elect our first ~~african american~~ black* president [check out this article to understand why this distinction matters and this video to reinforce things.]

i can’t even think of what my exact excuse was not to vote for barack back then. probably work. that was my excuse for everything.

i was so ashamed i skipped the massive celebration in grant park that marked one of the most meaningful moments in our country’s history. so embarrassed that when my then boyfriend [now husband] asked me about it years later, i lied. i’m literally cringing as i type this wondering what anyone who knows me today will think.

i was an idiot and i’m emphatically sorry.

in hindsight, i have a feeling i figured that my vote didn’t matter. it was one of millions that would be cast in the city of chicago for the former illinois senator. a junior senator my friend carolyn had been all fired up about as soon as he was elected. she knew he was special. i knew he was special, and yet, i didn’t vote.

why is that?

it’s called being disenfranchised.
you think your vote doesn’t matter.
you also think your voice doesn’t matter.
you are silent.
you are complacent.
you are part of the problem.

today is different.

i was a 25yo who wasn’t entirely sure of her place in this world. since then, i’ve realized my voice matters. my art matters. and i’m finally using both to showcase the humanity behind this recent american chaos… so much loss and pain that was/is avoidable.

yep, today is different.

i live in a city that is in turmoil with racial injustice — ~~ever since Ferguson~~ ever since ever. i live in a state that is still very much a danger zone for the pandemic [with a governor that refuses to mandate masks even though it’s the one simple, scientifically-backed thing we can ALL do to help]. and i live in a country that desperately needs someone in charge that actually gives a shit about ALL of the people living within it.

like i said, today is different.

yesterday, it was announced that none of the officers present for the murder of an innocent woman in her home will be held accountable. the only indictment the grand jury served was for the stray bullets that went into the neighbors home. not the ones that went into breonna taylor. the two who fired the deadly shots are still on the louisville police force.

can you imagine a group of plain-clothed officers using a battering ram to get into your home and killing you in your sleep? wouldn’t you be angry? wouldn’t you want justice? that is all anyone wants. accountability of those impacting the lives of others… taking the lives of others… in law enforcement and in government.

to cope with my anger, i wanted to draw breonna and sit with her for a while. i should have sketched her months ago and reflected on her pain, her family’s agony and the devastated community she left behind. i owed her that. we all owe her that.

breonna deserved justice, to be commemorated —
and not to die.

just over a week ago, ruth bader ginsburg died. i just watched the movie about her landmark decisions “On the Basis of Sex.” she was a powerful force for equality. after hearing the news, i was devastated, but instead of feeling hopeless and helpless, i took out my sketchbook to pour energy into something good. something until recently, i had quite frankly forgotten how to do. ruth was the first sketch i completed on my own … without my mom on the other end of a phone.

back in june, i drew out my frustrations with george floyd’s murder but … it took me days? weeks? too long. i didn’t show up in the moment and i regret that.

today is different.

i wrote this a few weeks ago. before the death of ruth bader ginsburg knocked the wind out of me. before the announcement that no one would be held accountable for the murder of breonna taylor. i’m finally sharing today.

imagine if
imagine if those in positions of power who fight against science and ignore facts used their time, energy AND resources on solutions that helped ALL of us.
imagine if …
instead of denying the very real experiences of friends and families;
instead of focusing on individualism;
instead of making this about patriotism;
instead of making assumptions and throwing around insults:
we started listening to each other.
imagine if …
instead of blindly believing bullshit,
we sought out the truth in situations;
instead of redirecting towards our own supposed oppressions:
we cared about the issues that are literally killing people.
instead of hating and judging:
we stopped to have a conversations to understand the deeper why…
instead of leaders making everything political [it’s not] and pitting neighbors and communities against one other:
we came together for conversations and real dialog.
imagine if we listened to the experts
imagine if we listened to the dying
imagine if we listened to all of those that are currently suffering…
imagine if …
Black Lives Matter were viewed as
a human rights issue [which it is]
and the people hurting the most
were actually being heard
imagine if …
COVID were faced as
a global health crisis [which it is]
and we actually cared about
200,000+ americans dying
ALL of these topics are intertwined;
we are seeing first hand the value
[or lack there of] placed on human life
it is not equal
it is not urgent
it is not ok
imagine if … we were all human
and we ALL simply want to live
imagine if …
we ALL showed up to vote
just imagine
ROBIN ALEXA [HAUGEN]
AN [UN]LUCKY BIRD

in the words of one of my “other” caseys:

If your one little vote didn’t matter, those in power wouldn’t make it so hard to do. They wouldn’t spend energy purging the voter lists. They wouldn’t hold voting on a work day. They wouldn’t pass laws that make it harder to vote.

Please vote.

* bird note: the above should be Black with a capital B but … i’m writing in lowercase because i make life complicated and unique. #personalbranding