i designed a calendar in 2020 that never got printed. a year later, i updated the file and tried again. remembering my initial failure, i started doubting the direction i was flying. you see failure is not something i handle well. in fact, failure was not something i’ve needed to “handle” at all. i didn’t
i had a crazy symbolic dream last night and need to capture as much as i can before it crawls into the abyss.
[BIRD NOTE: in december of 2020, i sat down and wrote a letter to myself as part of a new endeavor. below is the text i loaded to futureme.org — with edits in red to add some “color.”]
a few months ago our extended family’s favorite cat started to decline in health. when it was clear it was the beginning of the end, my mom and i (and bella) drew pedo during one of her naps –– at the request of my sister –– and then i asked my brother-in-law to write pedo’s
[BIRD NOTE: i started writing this in january but never posted it … because… duh … i was afraid. every time i start to see daylight the darkness creeps in so below is my attempt to fly into the eye of the storm. my fears.] i woke up to a puking dog this morning. upon
every so often life comes completely full circle. call it synchronicity. serendipity. fate. coincidence. call it whatever you like. it’s f*cking incredible.
it’s earth day. one of my most favorite days of the year [!] … for one single day … i can walk around picking up trash and no one will judge me. i’m over here “decluttering” why i give a damn what others think — in all scenarios but especially this one. no one wants
part of my birthday present to casey … all of the photos of him and z in one place for constant viewing pleasure. the epitome of a man’s best friend. impossible to “pic” a favorite.
three years ago [march 2, 2018] i sat in a bar amongst college friends i hadn’t seen in over a decade – remembering jenna. she was incredible and while we were all devastated … i admit that many of us were not entirely shocked that she was the first go.
christmas eve of 2019, i had my first full blown panic attack. christmas eve of 2020, my father-in-law broke his femur in our backyard. sincere question: should i stop celebrating christmas?