i designed a calendar in 2020 that never got printed. a year later, i updated the file and tried again. remembering my initial failure, i started doubting the direction i was flying. you see failure is not something i handle well. in fact, failure was not something i’ve needed to “handle” at all. i didn’t
i had a crazy symbolic dream last night and need to capture as much as i can before it crawls into the abyss.
[BIRD NOTE: in december of 2020, i sat down and wrote a letter to myself as part of a new endeavor. below is the text i loaded to futureme.org — with edits in red to add some “color.”]
every so often life comes completely full circle. call it synchronicity. serendipity. fate. coincidence. call it whatever you like. it’s f*cking incredible.
it’s earth day. one of my most favorite days of the year [!] … for one single day … i can walk around picking up trash and no one will judge me. i’m over here “decluttering” why i give a damn what others think — in all scenarios but especially this one. no one wants
part of my birthday present to casey … all of the photos of him and z in one place for constant viewing pleasure. the epitome of a man’s best friend. impossible to “pic” a favorite.
three years ago [march 2, 2018] i sat in a bar amongst college friends i hadn’t seen in over a decade – remembering jenna. she was incredible and while we were all devastated … i admit that many of us were not entirely shocked that she was the first go.
christmas eve of 2019, i had my first full blown panic attack. christmas eve of 2020, my father-in-law broke his femur in our backyard. sincere question: should i stop celebrating christmas?
i wish i were addicted to something positive. like kale. but i’m not. i’m addicted to my phone. i’m addicted to instagram. i’m addicted to facebook. i’ve watched the “the social dilemma“. i’m aware of the signs. i have an addictive personality. i come from a lineage of addictive personalities. my great-great uncle died falling
i have worked nearly every day since i was 15. work has come to define who i am. it is not ALL that i am. i’m finally ready to fly in a new direction…